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Mz_CaNdra
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Name: candra
Country: United States
State: Maryland
Metro: PG County
Birthday: 6/28/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: love. guys. swimming. shopping. friends. aim. html. phone. music. make up. alcohol. cheefin. sleepin. hugs. partyin. randomness. happiness. fashion. and more...
Expertise: advice. relationships. doodling. being an official fat ass. being hyper. being outgoing. being unpredictable. acting slow for the world to know. sitting on my ass. emotions. making ppl smile. being goofy. being loud. procrastinating.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  lil mz candra
Member Since:
9/6/2004
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| my life is out of control... everythings bad about it accept college! & even i dont like college, but dats da only thing goin for me right now. my parents are divorcing, my dad has moved out... my moms already ready to sleep wit otha men, my ex bf is a jerk and doesnt know what he wants. im lost bcuz i dunno what i want!! my ex sista (sarah) wanna fight me, & i havent talked to her in months... she lists to her bf who iz a crazy dipa head. i have no job, but i spend all my savings on weed! im startin to crave cigs again.. jus bcuz im soo stressed! ive never had skin problems n my life and now alla sudden i have oily skin and red blimshes and shyt, im like WTF! all i have is like hannah & kelly, and hannah always wit gary and kelly, well i jus love her. i dont know where ill be a year from now, but i know a year ago i did NOT think id be here!!! its alla mess.. all this chaos is prob gonna affect my grades which will affect my car insurance, and i have no $$ for dat to b affected. NOW i jus found out i missed my brotha & his fiances bday party and im even more blown on top of all da BLOWNESS ive been da past 24 hours! tray had me cryin at like 5am and shit... goddamn WTF! i can never do nothin right, ill never act right, ill never know how to talk to people and people will always talk down to me. WHAT HAPPEN TO ME CANDRA????????? | | |
| wow its been while. well i passed all those classes, thats the least i can say. sense then i have started working at the country club and its cool. i dont work much but when i do i work a lot... makes no sense but whatever, its good money for what i do work. im taking a summer class at csm in laplata. english lit, i dreaded it in the beggining but now im living wit it and i kinda like it, not like it but its standable.. really.. for the past couple months ive had this crush on this guy rob/frankie and like its soo rediculous cuz i swear it started as a joke then i ende up fallin for him, not love but complete lust. hes never been wit a girl and doesnt know much bout em and it really sucks cuz i was completely infatuated wit him. i throw it at him but he cant throw it back. i caaare waaay to much for him and ive told myself and him before that i need to stop. hes said things were gonna change, but they havent and they never will. he might be gay. he slept over last weekend and hasnt called me since. imagine how i feel, and the fact is... he knows exactly how i feel about it and he says he cares but if he REALLY did he wouldnt be doin absolutely nothin about it and he wouldnt even let me drift away like i am cuz hes loosin a good thing. well fuck him. i kinda like this other guys, but all together guys are confusing and i always disapoint myself by givin them expectations but none of em ever live up to em.. i know this new guy, hes prob got a lot of bf potential but i dont really know how he feels about me. ive never felt so dependent. not dependent i jus am lookin for love... there... i said it, but im not aimin to fall so fast jus someone who really likes me and really actually cares about ever inch of me. cuz i have friends, but it never feels like they are think about me all the time and shiiit... i wants somone to want.. FORGET IT! cuz wen it happens im gon get sick of it. i know how i am. i just need to live. and i have been. ive been real bad lately. a lot of brain damage, if ya know what i mean. im soo sorry, but i just end up resorting a lot to new drugs. im only a marijuana addict, nothin else.. i juss... jus.. like some excitement sometimes. i dont know, its soo bad but ill check myself in if it gets that serious, but sadly to say i know i can end all this rebelious, late night, crazy behavior if i had a guy in my life. im a down for you bitch. id be so down for him if he hes was soo down for me, its rediculous but i would be if it was like that. cuz ive been there and ive done that. i dont like to call myself obsessive but i get easily attached, honestly... thats what happen wit me n frankie, i just got so attached and now ive GOT TO detache myself cuz all i ever am is hurt, and it would effect how i treated my family and friends. especially my friends, well esp my sister hannah. all she would here was his name, either negative info bout how fuct up it is he aint or how much i like him and how sweet he is. goosh i feel so bad for her. maan i want this cart 3 session! this junt rock. wayne rock! i think ive said waaay too much. fun tonite. bday next week. woohoo 19!!! l8r. | | |
| im fuckin sick as shit. i been ill for like almost 4 days now. at 1st it was str8 body aches and fever, now im fuckin coughin lungs , wit n ear ache, n i cant breathe!! it sucks soo bad, i thought i would be feeling better not worse. i quit jacks on a serious note. watch i prob shouldnt even hit da ganj today... but that never happends, i always do. maybe it was last nites gravity bong at stacy & christina's dat had me up allnite coughin, but no... i think im jus dat sick or have somethin seriously wrong wit my throat cuz my voice is goin away too. err ima be house bound today. i had to reschedule my job interview too, which really kinda sucks cuz now if she hires me nxt week, i can barely even work cuz im goin to ocean city on the 11th. woohoo. cant wait. oh yeah da semister gon end soon, whoa dats crazy.. its gonna b crunk time soon watch cuz i been slackin on some shit. anywho i jus wanted to mention how horrible my life is right now. i mean its not THAT bad but its pretty fuckin bad. ive gotta broken home, my parents got issues nd uuuugghhh............soooooo much stresss!!!! yall keep ya head up. im out | | |
| it was a month ago that i wrote here. its amazing how much can change in jus a month. ive lost my job. i have financial issues now, but im really not rushing to get a job, bcuz ive got spring break with the ladies next month & the 1st thing ima have to tell any employer is that i need off this n dat day.. which they dont wanna hear.. so yeah. im jus hopfully gonna live off babysitting money, ya know.. im actually in english class rite this second. my teachers quite interesting but this class is sooo lame. ive got atleast another hour in here. okay so as for a love interest, NONE. i still see chris once or twice a week but we arent as seriously bout ne thing. hes quit smokin 4 a bit, which i prob shoulda did wit em. then theres sg, this mufucka drives me nuts. at 1st i aint wanna like him n tried to convence myself dat i didnt, but lately & now, i know i gotta lil crush on him. YET lately he has been wit his GIRLFRIEND and been treatin my like shit, but ayy i cant ask 4 much more cuz he bunned up. i know he got a lot of feelins 4 me, or atleast think so.. whatever f*ck him, it'll never happen. i sometimes feel like a waste of a human, ihavent accomplished a lot and im boutta b 19.i hate lookin toward da future. shit my teacher is actin like he gonna come over here so i think i should end this. i promise to update again soon. life deff has its ups and downs. for real for real. ive been an emotional reck. | | |
| man this is gonna be a quick one. i gotta be in class in like 10 minutes.. that some bull.. sike whatever. its english im one page short on my 4 page paper due this class. oh well, he not gonna faile me cuza dat. schools goin alrite i guess.. my schedules jus kinda busy. my art class got me real busy and i HATE art, well not hate but its jus all this dumbass research. my english class i think i mite actually learn somethin in, plus there dis bunjoint in there but i aint worried bout him. he from pgc so i fux wit em tho. my juvenile deliquency class is like almost over and i really cant say i learned anything cuz i knew half dat shit anyway, considerin i am/was a juvenile who committed deliquent acts lol. geography slightly interesting, my teachers kinda whack but ill manage. i always do. ive been sick this past weekend though. wasnt feelin well at all. then i had some home issues. ya know... mom and dad shit.. but i really think things are gettin better and might possible be makin me and my parents closer. they are finally startin to realize that im an adult myself. a young adult, yet im responsible and can think for myself. i impress them a lot. i know a lot for my age and i teach them shit too... i love my mom and dad a lot alot! theyve done so much for me and they think i dont appreciate it but i really even if they feel like i take them forgranted. anywho time is ticking and im so not looking forward to this class. i look and feel like shit and i didnt really wanna been seen like this. whatevverrr... fuck it. lemme go finish my chickfila lemonaid and kick back in my english class aight. life is so unpredictable, it scares me. | | |
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